I often feel that I'm bad or wrong in some way. Many ways. I feel that I don't fit into society the way it wants me to. I feel that I'm not smart enough, strong enough, feminine enough, masculine enough, pretty enough, accomplished enough, driven enough, thin enough, interesting enough, busy enough, sexual enough, chaste enough, moral enough, brave enough, demure enough, and that I should be more successful while trying less hard.

There's something wrong with me that I can't do all this. Everyone else can. I'm not good enough to be able to be like everyone else. I'm mostly alone in that. And for others similar to me, I shouldn't hang out with them - it will only make things for me and them worse, because then what we are will be more apparent, and it will only make things harder for us. I should hang out with the 'good' people, the people who can do all of the above. But I'm also wrong because I don't like hanging out with the people I 'should' hang out with - I find it uninteresting and stressful because I have to try to act interested. That is also wrong and should be hidden, which is exhausting to maintain. And I maintain it less and less well as I grow, because I care less and less.

I feel that people don't like me for all those reasons and more. I feel I have to hide who I am so that people don't find out, and then hate me and ostracize me.